i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize