Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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