i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I need water and some morals
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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