im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
