is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
