I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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