Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
