Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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