why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
