We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
