No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
