About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
