She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize