I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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