I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
"it" just moved
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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