i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize