Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
