You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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