Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
