dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
