I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We were destined to go to rehab together
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
