Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.

Fav 19 4683 1672
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(716): View more from New York

It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.

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(917): View more from New York City

You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.

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(517): View more from Michigan

my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.

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(425): View more from Washington

I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.

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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night

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