what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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