He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
