Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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