someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
