If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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