I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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