But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
