Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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