between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
