is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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