Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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