She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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