She said her name was "party"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
