so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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