Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
