careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
