That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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