We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
