Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
