I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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