omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
