I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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