Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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