Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
