Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
