so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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