A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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