I showed him my bush... on skype.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize