Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
