My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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