My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
