Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
