we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
