sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
