Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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